Hot Weather and Disagreements
by Fawn Hickory
Summary: BJ and Radar haven't had a row-until now. And guess who gets caught in the middle. Chapter six is up and another is done!
1. Mail Call

**Here is my latest story, hot out of my occasionally frightening, occasionally intelligent, occasionally confused mind. Have the first three chapters done, am working on more, will post more later this week, I promise. Please review!!!!**

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"Anything come for me, Radar?" BJ Hunnicutt asked the company clerk when he came into the Swamp one hot day.

"No, sir, not this time." Radar O'Reilly handed Hawkeye Pierce a letter and a magazine sized plain brown envelope, and tossed a letter onto Major Charles Winchester's bed. Then he stood there for another moment, fanning himself with the four letters he still held.

"Again! That's the fourth mail call with nothing! Are you sure you're sorting it right?" BJ's tone made Radar unconsciously draw away from him and towards Hawkeye, who was looking at his friend with surprise. BJ rarely spoke like that, and never towards Radar.

BJ caught the look and demanded, "What? Letter form your dad not long enough?"

The expression on Radar's face now was utter shock, and the emotion was mirrored on Hawkeye's although to a lesser extent. BJ had wondered to him, worried, if something had happened back home and that's why no one was writing. Still there was no reason to attack his friends.

"What are you standing there staring at mw for? Go deliver the mail!" And he flopped down onto his cot in a huff, facing away from Hawkeye and Radar.

"He! I…!" Radar looked rapidly between the two captains, "I sort the mail just fine! I can't deliver what isn't here." Radar drew himself up to his full height and marched out, slamming the door so hard it sounded like something broke.

Hawkeye sat there for a minute staring at BJ's back, considering what had just happened. Then he swallowed and said quietly, "I'm sorry you haven't heard from home in a while."

"Yeah." BJ didn't turn around.

"Is there anything you'd like to say? You wanna talk about it?"

"What am I supposed to say? Just read your letter and leave me alone." A moment later he added, "Try not to rustle the paper too loudly."

"Okay!" Hawkeye grabbed his letter and left, shaking his head.

***

Hawkeye ended up in Radar's office. He sat on his cot and had finished reading his letter by the time Radar came in.

"Cap'n." Radar greeted him, and it wasn't as warm as it usually was.

"Radar, I'm sorry about how BJ acted. He's worried something's wrong back home. He was just letting off some steam."

"Yeah, well, I don't control what comes in."

"We know. You're great at your job."

Radar shrugged at that, he didn't like it when people called too much attention to his job performance. "He didn't have to yell at me like that, or at you either."

Now it was Hawkeye who shrugged. "I'm sorry he shouted at you, and I'm sure he will be too, when he cools down. As for yelling at me, a while back a young but very wise man showed us how important it was that we not let little things hurt our friendship. So I'm going to consider how BJ's feeling, and forget that he acted like a ninny."

Radar looked thoughtful as he considered that, but there was still some fight left in him. "I bet you think I should just forget it too, don'tcha? Well you can forget that. I want an apology."

Hawkeye nodded. He hoped for everyone's sake-not least of all his own-that this would all blow over quickly and quietly.

But he had a very bad feeling.

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**There's chapter one. The review button is right there, please use it. :-)**


	2. Shower

**Here's chapter two. If you didn't review the first time, you have another chance.**

**Aw hell, I'll beg. _please please please review._**

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At Mess that night Radar shared the same table as BJ, though he insisted on having Hawkeye and Father Mulcahy between them. Margaret and Charles looked at the two unhappy people, BJ brooding and Radar guzzling his food while ignoring BJ, and decided it was wisest to leave the whole thing alone.

Colonel Potter sat at the end of the table and regarded BJ and Radar with pursed lips. "Alright, what happened?"

BJ didn't look up from the fried liver he was dissecting and Radar just shrugged. He didn't really want to drag the Colonel into it.

"Do you know what's going on with these two?" Potter asked Hawkeye.

"Yeah," Hawkeye said carefully, "But it's between them and I'd rather not get involved."

Potter's eyes went heavenward and he sighed. The other made _don't look at me_ gestures when he cast questioning glances their way, and he sighed again.

"I'd press this," Potter said. "But in this heat I don't have the energy." He looked thoughtful. "Come to think of it, the heat might just be the problem. Why don't you both take a nice cool shower after supper. In fact, why doesn't everyone? We'll feel like new men-" A glance in Major Houlihan's direction, "-and women."

"That's a good idea," Mulcahy said, "And for once no hot water will be a blessing."

***

Hawkeye and BJ stood in the shower stalls, the cool water indeed perking BJ up a bit. He rambled on to Hawkeye, mostly about the liver, and then Hawkeye decided to change the subject.

"You know, Beej, you hurt Radar's feelings today."

BJ stuck his face under the shower stream and didn't come up for air until he absolutely had to. "I suppose." He finally answered.

"You know what he said today?"

"What?"

"He told me that he wants you to apologize to him."

"Aw hell." Face under the water again. Hawkeye stood there with the water pelting on his back and waited. "I suppose you want one too," BJ said when he breathed again.

"No, just Radar."

"Well why don't you want one too?" The fact that he didn't irked BJ for some reason.

Hawkeye shrugged. "Don't need one."

"Then why the hell does he?"

"He kinda deserves one."

BJ glared at him for a moment before he nodded.

***

**This is a short chapter, but there will be more soon. I have four chapter ready in my notebook (a little black rubber-covered thing with paper in the middle, god I love technology :-) ) and will have another chapter at least posted before I must sign off for the weekend. Maybe even two more chapter. The point is, keep coming back, you never know when I'll have something new for you. **

**Please review.**


	3. Sorry

After they finished with the shower and went back to the Swamp to get dressed, BJ headed over to Radar's office.

Radar was reading a comic book when he came in, his face less flushed than it had been earlier since he and Potter had had their turns in the shower first. "Hi." Radar said coolly, and went back to reading.

"Radar, about today…"

"Oh, what about today?" Radar's tone could have chilled ice cream.

"When I shouted at you and told you that you didn't do your job right, I was wrong. You keep this place running."

"Maybe. But I sort the mail just fine."

"I know you do, Radar. I'm here to tell you I'm sorry for acting like that."

"Did Cap'n Pierce tell you to say that?"

BJ was silent for a minute. That wasn't what he was expecting to come out of Radar's mouth. Finally he answered slowly, "Yes. He said that you-"

"Never mind what I said or what he said. If he hadn't told you whatever it was that he told you, would you have come over here?"

Again BJ had to think about it. In the end he realized he didn't know, and that was what he told Radar.

"So it's like back home when we were kids and we got in a fight. Ma or one of the aunts would tell us to go apologize, and we did because the grown-ups made us. Not because we felt sorry." Radar's face was flushed again.

"I do feel sorry, Radar. All Hawkeye did was remind me that I should tell you." This wasn't nearly as easy as he thought it would be.

Radar blinked at him. "Fine. Apology accepted."

BJ stood there for a minute looking at Radar. It seemed to BJ that if anybody was saying and not meaning it. It was Radar but he didn't say anything. "Night Radar."

"Yeah. Night."


	4. Ice Cold

**Here's Chapter Four, which I intended to be at least a little amusing. I'm ding my best here, and I hope you like it and will review. I just love reviews!!**

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"He told you he wanted me to apologize, didn't he?" BJ asked Hawkeye later that night.

"That's what he said." Hawkeye answered from flat on his back on his cot, dressed only in his shorts to combat the heat.

"Well he sure didn't act like he did. He wanted to know if you told me to apologize, and then he was upset when I said you did."

"Yes, BJ, I know. Do you know that every time you tell me that, the temperature in here goes up another five degrees? I'd take off my skin if I knew I could get the fold creases back out of it."

"Yeah, jokes. How many times have I listened to you tell the same stupid story twenty times?"

Hawkeye sighed. "I don't know. How long have you been here? Can't we just try to get some sleep? We're all hot and tired. You're worried about Peg and Erin. I feel like you're going to have to take me over to the kitchen in the morning and reconstitute me in the sink. Maybe Radar has a heat rash."

BJ considered the possibility. "Maybe."

"I bet everything will be fine in the morning. We'll get up and go to breakfast and Radar will be the same old Radar. We'll be the same old Hawkeye and BJ, and everything will be _fine_."

A moment passed, and Hawkeye added, "If I don't have a heat stroke before then."

Hawkeye lay there with his eyes closed, and he didn't open them when he heard BJ get up and leave the tent, nor did he when he heard him come back in a few minutes later. They snapped open, though, when a shower of cold water hit him.

"_Hey!!_" Hawkeye yelled, his muscles contracting in shock and his hands going up to defend himself.

BJ stood over him with a sock in his hand. In the other hand he held his combat helmet, which has nearly full of water and several handfuls of ice cubes.

BJ dunked the sock and made to wring it out over Hawkeye again.

"Oh no," Hawkeye said, scrambling to his feet. He tried to fend him off but he got another good dashing as BJ squeezed out the sock as her swung his arm in an arc in Hawkeye's direction.

Hawkeye grabbed a sock of his own and thrust it in the water, throwing ice cold drops over BJ. And so the water fight continued, the two of them laughing like five year olds, until the door opened and Charles came in.

He watched them for a second or two, rolled his eyes and said, "Spare me."

BJ and Hawkeye looked at each, smiled spreading across their faces. Then they doused Charles with the helmet of water.

Charles bellowed like a bull and they started running. "If you two come back to this tent tonight I'll…." But they were out of earshot before they heard what he would do.

They wound up in the mess tent, laughing hysterically. Several people looked at them like they thought they'd finally actually lost it. Hawkeye made faces at them to confirm it.

They were winding down when Father Mulcahy came in. He eyed the both of them, Hawkeye in nothing but his shorts and BJ in shorts and a tee shirt and both soaked, smiled, and said, "Good evening. Rather warm tonight, isn't it?"

Hawkeye and BJ looked down at themselves and grinned. "It's a scorcher," Hawkeye agreed.

"What brings you out tonight, Father?" BJ asked.

"Well it was rather warm in my tent and then I heard this awful ruckus." His eyebrows went up. "You two wouldn't have had anything to do with that, would you?"

"Well," The both said, shrugging. Then Hawkeye grinned so big it looked like his face would crack. "We doused Charles with BJ's helmet full of ice water."

"My goodness, I can see how that might upset a person. Although in this heat, I'm not sure that I would mind all that much."

"Really, Father? We'd be happy to stage a repeat performance."

"No, no, that's quite alright."

"There's only one fly in the ointment." BJ said.

"What is that?"

"If we go back to the Swamp tonight, Charles is going to, well…."

"What?"

"We don't know, exactly, Hawkeye put in, "We didn't stick around long enough to find out."

"Prudent choice, but there are you going to sleep?"

"We're not sure, but now that you're here, maybe…?"

"My tent is usually a single. One of the perks of being a chaplain. I could squeeze you in, though, I suppose. You'll have to get cots and bedding however."

"Done! Are you sure you wouldn't like a helmet full of water, Father?" Hawkeye asked hopefully.

"I don't think so, boys. Just come by when you get your cots."

Hawkeye and BJ procured cots and bedding from the supply tent, and then when Charles went to the latrine, BJ stood guard and Hawkeye snuck into the Swamp and got their robes and pants.

"He's coming!" BJ hissed, and Hawkeye thrust the clothes into a burlap bag. He grabbed his knitting at the last second, and they were gone before Charles even knew they had been there.

They were giggling like simpletons when they knocked on Father Mulcahy's tent and he looked at them for a moment. "Oh dear, have you two been drinking?"

"No, Father, we promise," Hawkeye said, struggling to keep a straight face. "Pure adrenaline."

"We did a little reconnaissance trip to the Swamp for clothes and Charles nearly caught us." BJ explained.

"Ah," Father Mulcahy smiled as he beckoned them inside.

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**Chapter five may not be along until next week, but if I can in any way manage it, it will be here on Friday. Cross your fingers!! Please R and R.**


	5. Join the Party

**Here we have chapter five, posted on Friday as promised. This one may not make sense right away, (or it may, how do I know?) but all together it will in the end. :-)**

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"Father, have you seen Captain Pierce?" A hushed voice asked early the next morning, while the voice's owner tapped on the door of Father Mulcahy's tent.

"Come in, Radar," Mulcahy invited sleepily.

"What's up, Radar?" Hawkeye asked, propping himself up on one arm and squinting at him.

"What are you doing in here? You're on duty in twenty minutes."

"Morning, Radar," BJ said conversationally.

"Oh, morning, sir," Radar answered, glancing in his direction. "Twenty minutes, Cap'n Pierce." Radar left.

"See?" BJ demanded of Hawkeye. "I said I was sorry and he's still mad."

Hawkeye had rolled over onto his stomach and was indulging in a toe-pointing, arms as high over his head as he could get them stretch, and his response to BJ's question was to growl into his pillow.

"It's probably the weather," Mulcahy said reasonably, as he slipped into his robe and shower shoes for a trip to the latrine. "It can be difficult for tempers to cool if the rest of a person feels like he's being broiled." He smiled and disappeared out the door.

"See? What did I tell you?" Hawkeye asked.

"Yeah, yeah."

***

Radar cornered Hawkeye in the mess tent. "Why did you tell Captain Hunnicutt that I wanted an apology?"

"Oh, no reason," Hawkeye answered, sipping his coffee. "Only because that's what you told me." Hawkeye's fuse was beginning to burn a bit closer to his charge, and his tone wasn't nearly as genial as it had been the day before. After all, patience wasn't something he listed on his resume.

"That's not what-Oh, never mind." Radar turned to leave, and Hawkeye's fuse disappeared with a _pfft_.

"Wait a minute!"

Radar looked back, surprised.

"Why is it that I am stuck in the middle? What, BJ apologized so you don't feel right sniping at him anymore-although cold-shouldering is fine-so I'm the next best thing? I didn't know I was revealing the biggest secret since MacArthur's shoe size." He was warming up to his rant. "I was up half the night listening to BJ, and now I come in here for a lousy cup of coffee before my shift and you jump down my throat. Maybe I'll see if I can move in with Father Mulcahy permanently, so I can have some peace and quiet." He stood up and stalked out.

***

"Hey, Hawk," The familiar voice said from behind him, and the muscles in his shoulders and jaw tensed.

"What is it?" Hawkeye said, his tone less than civil.

"Hey, what's the matter?" BJ asked, taken aback.

"Not a thing. What's up?" Hawkeye tried for a bit of friendliness, though it came out rather brisk still.

"I was just going to ask if you'd seen Charles today. I wonder if it's safe to go back to the Swamp yet."

"Haven't seen him," Hawkeye replied, a hint of a smile coming to him as he remembered the bath they'd given the Major the night before. "If you do go back there, I'd wear my combat helmet."

"That's a good idea." BJ paused for a moment, considering his next words. "I heard you had a little argument with Radar."

"So? Thought I'd join the party." Hawkeye turned his back to BJ and picked up a chart, though it was obvious he wasn't reading it.

BJ stood there, but nothing wise came to him, so he just walked away.

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**More will be along next week, Monday or Tuesday. Please please please review!!!**


	6. Phone Calls and Harmless Fun

**Here is the last chapter. I know I kind of chased my tail for a while in here but we all have our off-days, don't we? Thank you to Beahawk for her suggestion. It's not exactly what she said but she provided the link-up in my poor brain to get me here. Thank you, Bea!! Now, the rest of you, please r and r!!!!**

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"Captains Pierce and Hunnicutt, Father Mulcahy, and Corporal Ra-hey! That's me!" _Click. _Tow heartbeats. _Click. _"Oh, wait, um, report to Colonel Potter's office right away."

***

"Okay, okay, we're here. What's up?" BJ said as he came into Colonel Potter's office a short while later.

"That's what I want to know!" Potter said, annoyed. "Arguments. Bunking with the priest because you've been kicked out of your own tent. What's next? I want to know what it's all about and I want it straightened out before anybody leaves this room."

"I don't know anything about getting thrown out of a tent." Radar said.

"No, that was those two." Potter jerked a thumb in BJ and Hawkeye's direction.

"That was just a harmless joke," Father Mulcahy said. "No use wasting your valuable time worrying about it."

"Alright, we'll let that one slide, although I doubt Winchester will be so reasonable.

"Now what I want to know is, what is going on with you three?"

"Nothing," Radar insisted.

"Horse hockey."

So, reluctantly and with fill-ins here and there from Hawkeye, the whole BJ and Radar argument came out.

"And you don't have to tell me your bit, I heard it on the way into the mess tent this morning." Potter told Hawkeye.

Hawkeye looked half ashamed, half defiant.

"You know, I thought more of you three than that. Sure you have a disagreement now and then, that's natural. But there's no reason for such grudge-bearing." Father Mulcahy told them sadly.

"Hawkeye thought maybe Radar had a heat rash." BJ said, almost in defense of the younger man. Radar's cheeks went pink at that but he didn't say anything.

"Son, what is the matter?" Potter asked gently.

Radar shifted uncomfortably. "Well," he said slowly, "I'm tired of everybody blaming me for everything around here. I didn't write and mail the letters. I didn't send the packages. But it's always Radar who's the one that gets something thrown at him, or yelled at, or whatever." He looked at the Colonel strangely. "It's not my fault you haven't heard from Mrs. Colonel Potter, sir. And it's not my fault BJ hasn't heard from Mrs. Hunnicutt. Some people haven't heard from their families in a while either." He looked away, not meeting anyone's gaze.

"I'm sorry I snapped at you, son," Potter said quietly, as the others looked on in surprise.

"That's why you've been upset, Radar?" Hawkeye asked, going to his side and putting an arm around his shoulders. "You haven't had mail either?"

"A month."

"It's only been three weeks for me," BJ said, ashamed.

"I have a wonderful idea! Why don't you three call home?" Mulcahy spoke up, beaming. "I'm sure everything is alright and it'll boost your spirits to hear your loved ones' voices again."

"That's a god idea," Potter said, a smile spreading across his face.

"Yes, sir," Radar said slowly, "But we can't place personal calls till after twenty-three hundred hours."

"It's a date then!" BJ said, the prospect of hearing Peg's voice delighting him, a big grin on his face. "And Radar, after we're allowed back in the Swamp, I have three of Peg's cookies left. I've been saving them, but you can have them. I'm sorry I shouted at you."

"I'm sorry too," Hawkeye echoed.

"It's okay. I shouldn't have been so touchy." The three left together, chatting like friends again.

***

The three homesick soldiers, and Hawkeye, met in Radar's office just after twenty-three hundred, and each had a turn on the phone.

Mildred Potter was the first, and she was well and busy with her needlepoint. "I wrote you a couple of weeks ago, Sherm. I'm working on another now."

"Okay, sweetness." Potter said, his voice soft. "I love you."

Peg Hunnicutt was next. Everything was fine there as well, and they were worrying why they hadn't heard from BJ in a while. "In the last letter we got, you said it was finally starting to get nice and warm."

"That was five letters ago!"

When BJ got off the line, Potter said to Radar, "I think you better get on the horn tomorrow and see if there are a few mailbags falling through the cracks somewhere."

"Will do, sir."

Last one the phone was Radar. When he heard his mother's voice, his eyes filled and the others looked at one another, gave him pats on the back and slipped out to give him some privacy.

***

They hadn't spoken to Charles since the ice water incident the night before, though he had smiled cheerfully at them over supper.

They opened the door of the Swamp cautiously. No clicks could be heard, nor were there any other threatening sounds, so they poked their heads in.

Charles was sitting in his robe at his desk, reading a book. "Evening, gentlemen," he said.

"Hello, Charles," Hawkeye responded while he and BJ checked in and under their bunks.

"Oh, there's nothing in your beds, boys. That little _incident_ last night, well, I've decided that it was harmless fun. In this heat, a cool shower feels good. Well, good night." He closed his book, removed his robe, and crawled into bed.

The others got into bed as well, and soon they were all asleep.

Or not.

***

Hawkeye woke to a torrent of cold water. It went in his nose and mouth and when he opened his eyes it blinded him. He sat up, sputtering and coughing and then the gush was no longer aimed at him but at BJ. BJ yelped and coughed and fell out of bed.

They heard laughter. "Harmless," Winchester wheezed between great, ringing, gleeful chortles. "Harmless fun."

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**Another M*A*S*H fic all done with. Please review, I begged earlier. Thank you for reading, and I'll be back with another as soon as I can. Have a nice day and HAPPY SPRING!!!!!!**


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